When i was young i always imagined how my life going after finish school, after graduated from institue i can’t wait to work and earn some money by my self, become a succesful women, being a mature and more wise, also make my parents proud of me.
As time goes, is become more far from what i’ve expected before. This year i’m turning 26 year since march. The more i got older the more i felt so much pressure in my life. I find out, that my life is stuck i didn’t said that i’m not thankful for what i have reach yet, but still idk anymore i can’t makes my parents proud of me now, also because i always unlucky about LOVE.
I know at this age everyone get marry, my family told me like, you have to find a serious guy to be marry and something like that is not the right time to just get a boyfriend for having fun only. And the more they talk about it the more i got pressure, and i felt like i don’t comfortable to stay at home on weekend i prefer find something i love to do outside to release me from stress is not because i hate them, just i hate my self for make them got worried to much about me. I wanna be positive thinking, before i believe love will lead you to the right person, but as times goes nowdays i’m not sure anymore maybe true love doesn’t exist.
My dad said if you have a boyfriend now ask him to visit our house, if that guy truely likes you is not a big deal right? If he didn’t even curious where do you life, how’s your family do you think he is serious? I didn’t said anything but i think somehow is true. Let’s say my relationship in a few local guys seems doesn’t work, so i think oh maybe a foreigner can treat me much more better and make me feeling beloved.
A few months ago i was closed with somebody yes he is a foreigner, at first i felt so so happy because he was so handsome i was melted when we meet for the first time. He is caring, confident and cheerful, that time he fullfiled my day with happiness. But then i realized, our language is different culture habit. He doesn’t like make up at all, while i love make up so much i think a beautiful woman will looks more great with make up and good fashion. He didn’t like if i’m using lipstick and stuffs, he never as me which movie i want to see, he decided it without ask my opinion. i felt upset cos i can’t being my self when i was with him.i know everyone has their own taste in every kind of things. But i don’t agree with him, for me if i truely likes a guy i will definitely accept him anything he likes i will try to support, let’s say i like a guy who has a good smell, but altough he dislike perfume it won’t change my feeling for him i call it “sincerity”. So yeah is over now, i don’t hate him at all, i become a stronger girl ah no woman i mean lol, i wish he will be fine with his study, and life.
After that i was close with an oppa, he was so mature, funny and have a warm heart. But he was very work holic type he has no time for me i can’t wait too long is also over now.
Other one i dislike him at the beginning, then i think is not a bad idea to try to get close again with a guy, he was kind, always ask my opinion on a small thing like movie foods and etc i can felt his caring. He also didn’t mind about me who like make up and perfume. Is a good point. But then i find out that he didn’t wanna marry yet. So i wanna try to walk away. How supposed i do to introduce him to my parents it won’t work, i have to move on from him and need to find a kind guy who wanna be serious with me is not an easy thing seriously.
Idk now~~ what should i do? But i never close my heart, i’m ready to meet a better person in the future. I just hope my mom and dad believe in me i won’t do something bad, i also try my best i just want a little bit times.
Sorry i don’t know why i become emo, this blog no longer about make up and fashion sometimes is a place for me to becoming emo and “baper” like this.
I have no place to sharing this with.
I promise on my next post i will try to be a good blogger, who digg about make up more or anything that my readers want to know.
Thanks for being there when i need somebody to talk. Need a shoulder to cry on. Haha lol just joke XD i will be okay time will heal me. That’s it see ya~~~~ ♡♥